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Joke of the Day

"When I was a kid, I had an imaginary friend who ditched me for his own imaginary friend."

"What do vegetarian zombies eat? Graiins!"

"Did you hear about the guy with a premature ejaculation problem? I hear he just comes outta nowhere!"

"What's the difference between a quarter and a nickel? The Hiroshima bombing didn't kill a nickel of a million civilians."

"No recovering from getting your arm stuck in a Pringles can on a first date."

"Have you ever smelled moth balls? How did you get his tiny little legs open?"

"My wife has so many shoes the bedroom looks like the outside of a mosque."

"Me: Ohhh, MARITAL arts workshop...now I really feel stupid in this karate outfit. Wife to therapist: Do you see what I'm dealing with here?"

"What'd the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass"

"I raised the alarm at work today... The midgets were furious."