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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy with a premature ejaculation problem? I hear he just comes outta nowhere!"

"I'm really good with cars, man. I can look at a car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's going. - Mitch Hedberg"

"My dad is really good at playing hide n' seek! It's been 12 years since we started and I still haven't found him!"

"3rd eye: youre on drugs 4th eye: youre a nerd 5th-7th eyes: ??? 8th eye: you are now a spider 9th eye: spider on drugs 16th eye: nerd spider"

"So apparently ""You can't tell me what to do, you're not my real dad!"" isn't of much use when dealing with armed cops."

"this 'donkey kong' aspires to humanity through the gesture of the necktie. yet it is the hoarding of his wealth that truly makes him human"

"I just punched what I thought was a paparazzi with a long lens. It was an old man with a wheat bread sub. Sorry."

"Industrial robots How do industrial robots communicate with humans? They use a conveyor belt."

"You know what's way better than an iPod? A zune"

"Is it just a coincidence that you turn purple when you choke? skol"