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Joke of the Day

"I finally realised why Oscar Pistorius lost his trial Because from a legal point he didn't have a leg to stand on."

"What did Blackbeard say to the girl who was dressed as a sexy pirate for Halloween? ""Land Hoe!"""

"I swear I only have sex standing up.. I'm not fucking laying!"

"I like my horses like I like this kind of joke. Beaten to fucking death. Jesus, come up with something better please."

"What's Michigan's favorite beer? PbR"

"Just wondering what is a funny punchline to: (saw this incomplete joke in southpark) A baptist priest with a huge boner walks into a bar..."

"Primaries are like childbirth. After a great deal pain, yelling, and recrimination, everyone forgets how awful it was until the next time."

"*giraffe getting his daily coffee* G: usual grande mocha man Barista: gee that's a... G: *sigh* B:...tall order G: Christ, every goddam day Phil"

"What goes ""Hahahahaha...*thud*""? Someone laughing their head off"

"Yo mama so fat... She had a heart attack. Is everything okay, bud?"