51023

Joke of the Day

"Yo mama so fat... She had a heart attack. Is everything okay, bud?"

"Why did the clothing store close? The employees where slacking off."

"I just painted my toenails whore red, then immediately confined them to tight heels so they know what shameful little sluts they are."

"Why did the one-fifth go to the masseuse? Because he was two-tenths"

"Why are organic farmers the best hip hop artists? Because they make the best beets."

"I like my whiskey like I like my women... Underage and sexy."

"What did the shy pebble wish for? Only that he could be a little boulder!"

"Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee! Haha jk, we can talk. How many of the commemorative state quarters have you collected? I have 40."

"You can lose weight if you don't eat foods that start with capital letters. Even faster if you live in Germany!"

"""Mommy, why does everyone at school pick on me?"" ""I've no idea, Someoneyourownsize."""