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Joke of the Day

"What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray!"

"[Adam and Eve in bed] Adam, am I really the only girl for you? GOD EVE, YOU'RE LITERALLY THE ONLY GIRL ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH"

"Zombies are a fun reminder that the first thing people want to do when they're dead and beyond the law is murder everyone in sight."

"Robert Khardasian was OJ Simpson's lawyer And thus began the family tradition of getting black men off."

"Some months have 30 days, some months have 31 days. How many have 28 days? All 12"

"It is better to be on seventh heaven, rather than on the seventh month."

"He told me I was too pretty not to smile. So I flipped him off, tackled him and shoved my middle finger up his nose. Now I'm smiling."

"If Hillary wins in 2016, it's gonna be a huge year for shoulder pads"

"I wish my girlfriend was more like my job... My job sucks dick!"

"A joke I've been working on. So a guy dies in a car wreck. He wakes up waiting in a line labeled automotive accidents. The guy in front of him and says "" You from South Carolina too?"""