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Joke of the Day

"What does a nerd and a bad baseball player have in common? They both can't get to first base!"

"If Yao Ming decides to a get cat, he should name it Meow Ming."

"Customer: Why doesn't my hairline look good? Barber: It's on the same old head."

"At this point the only thing Lady Gaga could do that would shock me is to come out on stage wearing a sensible pantsuit from Talbots."

"Real House Wines."

"My teen yelled at me for not waking her up for school. She's in the shower & I'm wondering when she realizes it's Sunday. This is beautiful."

"My parents are middle aged. ""Mine are to-"" [parents burst through bedroom door on horses] ""CHILD! DOST THOU DESIRE NOURISHMENT?"""

"Q: Why did the witch's mail rattle? A: It was a chain letter."

"A fish lies on the ground outside of his tank, dead. The two remaining fish in the tank talk to each other: ""What happened?!"" ""I don't really know... He just yelled 'EVOLUTION!' and jumped out."""

"Why is the door knob? Because the key. (ok, i will show myself out)"