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Joke of the Day

"Nuclear winter ""What are you going to do if a nuclear winter comes?"" ""Throw snowballs."" ""Nuclear!"" ""With my tentacles!"""

"Me: Excuse me Father, what's the Wifi password? Priest: We're in Church! Me: Oh I'm sorry. What's the Wifi password, Amen."

"Hillary said she wants to be the next president because there haven't been many women in the Oval Office. Bill said, ""That's not true, there's been plenty of women."""

"Girls named Miranda never think it's funny when you tell them they have the right to remain silent."

"I ordered a book called ""How to relieve stress"" My goodness, for the life of me I really hope that it arrives on time. And that it's useful. And that the delivery man doesn't dislike me."

"Which two names figure prominently in every Ape's diet? Ben/Anna!"

"""What should we name them?"" Grapes ""And what about these?"" Grapefruits ""I see. So one is a larger version of another?"" Not at all ""Perfect"""

"HOW DO PIGS TALK? SWINE LANGUAGE."

"Have You Heard About the new KFC Hilary Clinton Special. its 2 small breasts, 2 large thighs and 2 left wings"

"Oh, jokes from 7 year-olds are cool now? From my son last night: ""Why do sea gulls fly over the sea?"" Because if they flew over the bay they'd be bay gulls (""like bagels, get it Dad?"")."