171944

Joke of the Day

"That awkward moment when you gently toss your phone on the bed and it bounces off 3 walls, breaks 2 lamps and kills a cat..."

"God made the world in 7 days... and the rest Made In China"

"Why LOTR is a metaphor for life. Man puts ring on finger, slowly goes insane!"

"Tattoos are like dead babies Even if you peel the skin, they're still there"

"Wouldn't it have made more sense if Al Gore claimed he invented the Algorithm?"

"What's a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country."

"I've reached the most difficult moment in parenting: explaining to my son why the first Star Wars movie is Episode 4."

"Get your shit together, people at McDonald's drive thru who sit there all confused like the menu hasn't been the same for the last 50 years"

"What happens when you throw a green stone into the Red Sea? It gets wet."

"Why don't you hit a Mexican kid who's riding a bike? Because it's probably your bike"