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Joke of the Day
"Hello I like you I could see myself shutting up for a second and listening to your words"
Next Joke
"The child in me says ""Eat candy for breakfast!"" but the adult in me says ""You're an adult! You can do whatever the fuck you want! Do it!"""
"*on death bed* priest: any regrets my child? *montage of every time i saw a large dog and didn't try to ride it* me: uhhhhh"
"What is the greatest dilemma for a Jewish mother? She learns her son is gay, but he's dating a doctor."
"(Original) did you know that if you squeeze one of your balls hard enough you'll cum? Because sooner or later you'll bust a nut"
"Dentist: ""You don't need to open your mouth any wider. When I pull your tooth I expect to stand outside."""
"Why did a man throw his breakfast out the window? He was a cereal defenestrator."
"""where did all ur money go?"" I'm either wearing it or i ate it"
"Why did the blonde snort splenda? She thought it was diet coke."
"You're scared of pedophiles? Grow up."