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Joke of the Day

"The child in me says ""Eat candy for breakfast!"" but the adult in me says ""You're an adult! You can do whatever the fuck you want! Do it!"""

Next Joke
 
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"[phone call] KIDNAPPER: We're gonna kill your wife if you don't pay ME: *making wind noises* I CAN'T HEAR YOU I'M GOING THROUGH A TUNNEL"
"Knock knock..."
"Why does the court never make mistakes about rape? Because it's always black on white."
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"A man goes to the library... and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says, ""Fuck off, you won't bring it back."""
"What do you use to transport pittas? A flatbread truck"
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