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Joke of the Day

"Shouldn't elevators have a different name for the trip back down?"

"But Honey, if I stop eating this third bowl of Cap'n Crunch just because the roof of my mouth is bleeding, then the terrorists have won."

"What do you call a frozen hamburger? A ham-brrr-ger. my 7yo claims she made it up herself."

"I met a girl at a soccer game... ...I think she's a keeper"

"Be honest, do you think I could pull off tax evasion, or is it only cool when rich people do it?"

"I miss my friend jack... I loved listening to music with him."

"Girl, you put the sexy in dyslexia."

"Apparently when your boss asks if you're on drugs ""which drugs?"" isn't the appropriate response. I know this now."

"Why shouldn't you put a baby in the microwave? Because you get better results from slowly roasting it in the oven."

"What is the worst thing you want to hear from a doctor giving you a prostate exam? ""Look ma, no hands!"""