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Joke of the Day

"Apparently when your boss asks if you're on drugs ""which drugs?"" isn't the appropriate response. I know this now."

"TV needs to stop putting up those stupid ""viewer discretion"" warnings. My mom is sick of me calling her for clearance."

"What was the gay Swedish guys favorite thing to do? Give Swedish handjobs."

"If I squint really hard, nope. You're still an idiot."

"How do you make Ben Carson yell? Watch a movie with him."

"WAITER: How is everything? ME: Soul crushing and void of meaning W: I meant your meal M: Soul crushing, void of meaning, and needs salt"

"Whats the difference between a burglar and an ex-wife? At least the burglar has the decency to leave you the house."

"What is the best way to hunt bear ? With your clothes off."

"What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with Chinese food? Hop suey!"

"rural upbringin' What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's on Friday night in Wisconsin? Prom night."