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Joke of the Day

"I'm a Buddhist pothead so I hope I'm reincarnated as a horse so I can come back and eat grass all day."

"What on Earth did the NASA discover? Nothing, it was on Mars"

"What do you call an Ethiopian with a dog? Stupid."

"Her idea of extending an olive branch was to sharpen one end first, then extend it REALLY hard."

"How many cops does it take to push a pedophile down the stairs? None, he tripped. ;)"

"Why were the vets and pounds mad? It was raining cats and dogs"

"Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster? A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans."

"My girlfriend and I are celebrating our anniversary tonight by breaking up six years ago."

"I only discriminate against people who discriminate. I'm basically the Dexter of discrimination."

"*sees a racoon in the neighbor's trash* I won't say anything if you don't. *continues rummaging*"