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Joke of the Day
"You're a Carrot I wish, I'd be easier on the eyes."
Next Joke
"Does anyone else think Squidward's nose looks like...nevermind. There are children in the room."
"Mexicans used to excel at cross-country... ... but Donald Trump could be the reason they get a gold in pole-vaulting"
"I get so excited when Facebook tells me there are hot singles in my city who want to meet me. Maybe they want to babysit!"
"I got kicked out of my Community Theatre group when the female director asked to see me limp. How was I to know she was talking about walking?"
"What's black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white? A Penguin rolling down a hill What's black and white and laughing? The penguin who pushed him"
"One time I was holding this little girl's hand walking through the woods at night. She said: ""I'm scared!"" I said:"" Well then how do you think I feel? I gotta walk back alone!"""
"I see Paris, I see France, I got a great new pair of binoculars from an overpriced sporting goods store today"
"The link in the text.... Stolen Bull semen. http://sacramento.cbslocal.com/2016/01/22/nearly-50000-in-bull-semen-stolen-from-turlock-truck/"
"I never discriminate but there is one race I can't stand... The marathon. It's WAY too long a race!"