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Joke of the Day

"A sissy in a Prius terrormobile tried to race me at a stop sign. Had him for the first 100 feet, but a fella can only walk so fast. Merica."

"Whenever I see someone posting a picture with a celebrity, I comment: ""Who's that next to you?"""

"If it was the choice between having the last pizza on earth or the last sex on earth, which toppings would you have on your pizza."

"What has 100 teeth and holds back a monster? My zipper."

"How did Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis"

"When I go see my drug dealer, she makes me lay on a couch and talk to her for an hour first."

"My girlfriend said if this gets 100 votes we'll try anal. So please don't vote, her strap on is huge and it really scares me."

"What do you call the side door of a brothel in Westeros? Hodor"

"BUZZ ALDRIN: I spy, with my little eye, something beginning with E. NEIL ARMSTRONG: Earth? BUZZ: Nope *5 minutes silence* BUZZ: OK, yep."

"I don't understand Christians They say that gambling is wrong, but they bet their entire life on there being a heaven."