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Joke of the Day

"Q: How can u drop an egg onto a concrete floor without breaking it? A: Any way you want, concrete floors tend to be very hard to crack."

"Someone fucked up I got Gary Glitter in the mail."

"Interviewer: It says here on your resume you can make chicks laugh, how? Me [holding a chick in my hand & tickling it]: I'm a miracle worker"

"police and public Caller: Dials in 911 Hello officer, I broke my arm in 3 places! Officer: Then stop going to those places."

"What does it mean to be an Agnostic with insomnia and dyslexia? You stay up all night wondering if there is a dog."

"Whats the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you."

"""You're going to love my friend. He's hilarious."" is still the best way to know you're about to meet an annoying person."

"Bruce Jenner never liked having a dick... ...and it just grew on him."

"The correct term for gluten-free, sugarless, vegan brownies is ""compost."""

"When our kids were teenagers we moved; hoping it would help with family strife. It didn't work, unfortunately. They found us."