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Joke of the Day
"I own the world only talking dog... but he only talks about outer layers of trees."
Next Joke
"I have an invisible friend. I haven't seen him for some time now."
"Punctuation is important... A missed period should always raise alarm."
"People have always told me, ""Shoot for the stars"" So I became a celebrity hitman"
"What does an 80 year old lesbian taste like? Depends"
"The Supreme Court is really just a regular court with tomatoes and sour cream."
"My girlfriend's extremely flexible, which comes in handy for sex. I say, ""when do you wanna have sex?"" and she replies ""I'm free whenever""."
"I could be Robin Hood if I had a bow and arrows and something to steal and give away and an old English accent and a gang of merry men."
"The block button is just the adult version of sticking your fingers in your ears and repeating ""I can't hear you"" over and over"
"Right about now, family members all over the country are realizing the Starbucks cards I gave them for Christmas are empty."