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Joke of the Day

"How long is a meter in Spain? A Spanard"

"Damn Girl, did you fall from heaven? Cus your face is fucked up."

"I think 50 cent stands a chance against Floyd Mayweather I don't know about 12, But I know 50 cent can take 9 rounds"

"The only joke my mom ever made was me"

"Next time you see your therapist, see how deep into the session you can go by only saying lyrics from Creed songs."

"The Soviet Union won't ever rise again? What a bunch of Bolshevik."

"How do you make a post man sad? Kill his family."

"There are 364 days until Christmas and people already have their Christmas lights up. Unbelievable..."

"Don't you hate that feeling when you close your eyes to apply shampoo, and get paranoid that someone will kill you in the shower."

"I will let someone cut the line I'm waiting in, but only if they let me braid their hair from behind."