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Joke of the Day

"How did the stem cell break it to his girl? It's not you; it's me*iosis* Could probably do with some work on deliver as I made it 5 minutes ago"

"A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff Ba - Dumm - Tss"

"Bad advice to give a kleptomaniac... ""You should really take something for that."""

"Men need to stop looking at women as sex objects... They can also cook and clean!"

"What can you tell about a guy who's always masturbating? That he's the son of one Mr. and Mrs. Bating. Please don't kill me."

"My dog swallowed my engagement ring last night, but luckily coughed it out when he barked. There was a diamond in the ruff."

"I feel like my rear end turns into Billy Mayes whenever I get diarrhea... ""Butt wait, there's more!"""

"I Like My Bed Like I Like My Women Tight, neat, and wrinkle free"

"The dishwasher is making a strange noise. Probably because she's outside shoveling the driveway."

"West Side Story gave me the wrong impression. No one at this gang fight is a good dancer and I've been shot in the arm."