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Joke of the Day

"If you get nervous when the IT support desk takes control of your computer remember they're whispering ""no weirdos please"" to themselves."

"Have you heard of the new model of the german microwave? It seats twelve"

"Why should you wrap a gerbil in duct tape? (NSFW) So it doesn't burst when you fuck it."

"Boy: Calls 911 Boy: calls 911 Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning."

"What's the difference between my guitar and my girlfriend? My guitar doesn't yell at me when I snap it's g-string"

"What happened to the egg when it heard the joke? It cracked."

"No, YOU didn't tighten the cap on my urine sample"

"A salesman knocked on my door today. ""Who currently provides your Internet?"" he asked. I said, ""My next door neighbour."""

"Samsung just announced a series of water resistant phones.... Just what you want in a phone that sets itself on fire - to be water resistant."

"Um, my eyes are up here. -giraffes"