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Joke of the Day

"A salesman knocked on my door today. ""Who currently provides your Internet?"" he asked. I said, ""My next door neighbour."""

"If you have a daughter, let her marry a programmer. They are men with codes."

"I had a threesome with two girls. They said they were 28 years old... How was I supposed to know they meant combined? They really look like adults, especially the 20-years old"

"""Nutella causes cancer"" says one scientist with his mouth covered in chocolate. ""Send your jars to me and I will dispose of them."""

"Two dogs meet on the street and sniff each other... Finally one says, ""I don't recall your name but your feces familiar."""

"What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? [fixed] You can hang the picture with only one nail."

"Who was the fattest Renaissance painter? Donutello * I love pun jokes give me some more"

"Its wrong that priests have to live a life of forced celibacy . They should get married and let celibacy come upon them the usual way."

"Q: How many publishers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Three. One to screw it in and two more to hold down the editor."

"I will literally punch you in the throat the next time you misuse the word ""literally""."