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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between my guitar and my girlfriend? My guitar doesn't yell at me when I snap it's g-string"

"Women are supposed to be like butterflies, beautiful and hard to catch... ...But most of you are like mosquitoes, annoying and easy to smash."

"Him: Why do you wear riding boots? You don't ride horses. Me: Why do you wear sneakers? You don't sneak."

"If the people that drink it are any indication, Diet Coke does not work."

"Why did the little pig hide the soap? He heard the farmer yell ""Hogwash!"""

"Why does the hipster make crappy coffee? The beans are always under-ground."

"Always remember, that no matter how useless you think you are, you are still someone's reason to smile."

"Today Americans celebrate Labor Day By not working and expecting to get paid for it."

"Never let anyone tell you what you can and can't do. Take Beethoven for example, they told him he could not be a musician because he was deaf ... but he didn't listen."

"After today the rest of the world will get ""FOUR MORE YEARS!"" without having to hear about the US election."