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Joke of the Day
"When I get to my deathbed.... I hope it's a tempurpedic."
Next Joke
"I was not a particularly small child. I was the one who always got picked to play Bethlehem in the school nativity."
"My friend lost his left hand... He's all right now."
"Have you checked on your shelves recently? You know, just to see how they're holding up?"
"Where do you shop for a pregnant cow? The Mooternity Section."
"The economy is SO bad... ...that Americans are emailing Nigerians and asking for help with money."
"LPT: A lot of people cry when they chop onions, the trick is not to form an emotional bond."
"Who's paying for Trump's wall? EveryJuan"
"My hobbies include humming the Jurassic Park theme song to my chickens, to make them feel more in touch with their ancestors."
"What question would confuse a transsexual who used to be a woman? ""Have you ever been abroad?"""