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Joke of the Day

"A dick has a sad life... His neighbors are nuts, his bestfriend's a pussy, his owner beats him, and his hair is a mess."

"I wonder what Cannibals & Aztecs would say, watching civilized people eat symbolic hearts of loved ones on Valentine's Day."

"What do you call a bunch of unicorns? A unicornucopia."

"Why do babies cry when they're born? Because it's the most painful day in their lives"

"You better take care of me Lord, if you don't you're gonna have me on your hands."

"I had such a great masturbation session last night... that when I woke up in the morning my dick was in the kitchen cooking breakfast."

"I dated a guy who always kneeled and prayed before sex. I still don't know if he was scared of what I'd do or thankful. Either way, amen."

"[NSFW] What do you call 2 black guys raping a white girl? A giant Oreo."

"Dad Joke: People said the USA would have a black president when pigs fly. Swine Flu."

"Kristen gave Sally 3 flowers and 2 stuffed animals. Todd gave Sally 5 flowers and 3 stuffed animals. What does Sally have? Cancer."