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Joke of the Day

"I hope puns are okay. If you live downwind from a milk processing plant, everything smells like dairy air."

"I've just read a book about stockholm syndrome. The first couple of chapters were awful, but by the end I loved it."

"What is a caterpillar scared of? A dogapillar"

"I consider Words with Friends a work-related activity because it helps me take my mind off being stuck in this shithole."

"Stores in baltimore have been completely looted. all that's left is sunscreen and father's day cards. sauce: http://imgur.com/gallery/Tae9PI5"

"I saw a gay midget the other day I thought wow that's a little queer"

"I bought a 32ft ruler. For extreme measures."

"Q: WHY ARE BLONDES LIKE PIANOS? A: When they aren't upright they're grand."

"What refreshing beverage will no red-blooded American male ever drink again ? ... wait for it ... an ice-cold Bruceski"

"I like my women how I like my chicken. Friend: Battered? Me:...no...hot and spicy...."