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Joke of the Day

"Why did the dick go to 7-11? Q: Why did the dick go to 7-11? A: To get a Slurpee."

"One man's porn is another man's...well, porn, really. It's pretty much all porn for us. Nice sweater."

"My phone dies, freeing me from my prison. I look up at the world. Deer live in my house."

"How do you make music by releasing fish? You drop the bass."

"Someone needs to invent an alarm clock that, if you hit snooze more than three times, will call in sick for you."

"I don't even understand Fantasy Football. There are no Dragons, Wizards, or hot ass Elven chicks. I call bullshit."

"Who's the biggest player in the Hundred Acre Wood? Eeyore, he's always chasing that tail."

"Little Tommy took a drink But he will drink no more. For what he thought was H2O Was H2SO4"

"People say I have poor grammar I guess I'm just unarticulate"

"Yo mamma so stupid when she heard of ""orange is the new black"" she thought Donald Trump became the president."