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Joke of the Day
"When i told my friends i was going to be a comedian they laughed at me. They're not laughing now."
Next Joke
"""For my next illusion"" the magician announces: ""Free will!"" Everyone starts clapping but they don't know why"
"I had a dream that a priest took a dump on my front lawn holy shit"
"I wonder if Martha Washington ever got splinters from George's teeth."
"Want to buy a pocket computer? No thanks I already know how many pockets I've got."
"Whenever my girlfriend doesn't eat her dinner, I remind her that there are starving kids in Africa, and that she'll never be that skinny."
"A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, ""Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"" The doctor replied, ""I know, I amputated your arms!"""
"What does a gay guy call a sausage fest? Feeding Frenzy."
"A double whammy What's black on the bottom and white on top? Apartheid America. What's white on the bottom and black on top? A prison shower."
"What did the number 0 say to the number 8? Nice belt. :)"