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Joke of the Day

"Having sex was like riding a bicycle for the first time... My dad was there holding me from the back."

"Two fish are in a tank. One fish turns to the other and says ""Do you know how to drive this thing?"" The other fish says ""Holy shit a talking fish!"""

"Your Mommas so fat... (physics joke) Because she went light speed. Explanation: Physicists theorize that as speed increases, mass increases and at light speed, mass becomes infinite."

"What if... ... in like 30 years they made a film about Leonardo DiCraprio and how he never won an Oscar...and the actor who played him got an Oscar."

"What do you call a bee that lives in America? USB"

"What do you tell a woman with a black eye? Nothing, she's already been told twice."

"What do lawyers use for birth control? Personality."

"If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong"

"Hey Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the sperm bank? He was caught drinking on the job."

"I love my husband. But, what really motivates me to stay married is how much weight I'd have to lose to date again."