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Joke of the Day

"ok boss, i duck taped the hostage's mouth shut ""you mean duct taped, right?"" um... *cuts to hostage with live mallard stuffed in his mouth*"

"[Rappers job interview] Boss: What is your biggest weakness? Me: My rhyme game is weak. I can't speak. I'm a geek. Birds have feathers."

"I got one for you guys... Donald Trump"

"What's pink and hard? The Financial Times crossword puzzle"

"My love comes with more terms and conditions than iTunes."

"Yo mama is so fat.. When she goes to McDonalds and order 20 Burgers , 30 fries and 100 pieces of nuggets, they still ask her . ""Having here or take away? ""."

"A mushroom walks into a bar... and the bartender says ""We don't serve your kind here."" and the mushroom says - ""Why not? I'm a fungi."

"""I don't get the fuss about Ronda, I've knocked out plenty of girls"", Cosby states."

"whatever you do Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you are donating blood."

"""You'll be visited by 3 ghosts."" ""Will they show me the true spirit of Christmas?"" ""No, they'll try to eat you."" Pac-Man Christmas Carol"