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Joke of the Day

"[Rappers job interview] Boss: What is your biggest weakness? Me: My rhyme game is weak. I can't speak. I'm a geek. Birds have feathers."

"A guy in Hawaii survived a shark attack while surfing by punching the shark in the face and I get scared to take a shower if I see a spider."

"I brought my gimp home from the club yesterday and took off his mask... Oops, wrong sub!"

"Black jokes and Mexican jokes are all the same, once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamall."

"Man walks into a doctor's office Doc: Sir, I'm afraid that you have a very serious case of... onomatopoeia Patient: Oh no! is tha- Doc: Yes... it's exactly what it sounds like"

"A woman site down next to a man in a bar and says, ""You smell good, What do you have on?"" The man says, ""I have a hard on but I didn't know you could smell it."""

"What did the Russian tell his nervous Socialist Dictator at the amusement park? ""Quit Stalin and get on the ride!"""

"What's the best part about having sex with a tranny? Reaching around and pretending it went all the way through."

"Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired."

"I got a tattoo in memory of MH370... You'll never find it."