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Joke of the Day

"One Latvian potato talking to another. Is bad premise, nobody in Latvia have two potato."

"What do you call a Chinese rapist? Peking Dick"

"Right before I left the house my wife asked me if I filled out my organ donor information and now I'm hesitant to start the car."

"If I had the power to time travel, I would mostly just use it to stop past me from eating stuff from the fridge that I'd like to eat now."

"Two muffins are baking in an oven ... And one muffin turns to the other one and says, ""Wow, it's pretty darn hot in here."" The other muffin says, ""Holy shit! A talking muffin!"""

"I recently saw a movie about nuts and bolts..... The plot was riveting!"

"why can,t you trust a Atom Because thay make up every thing"

"Butt weight. There's more!"

"If dogs have taught me anything, it's that barking is a GREAT way to get rid of people you don't want to speak to. Works for me EVERY TIME."

"I'm so sick of gravity! It's really brining me down."