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Joke of the Day

"Right before I left the house my wife asked me if I filled out my organ donor information and now I'm hesitant to start the car."

"One of the benefits of being a hermit You're always the best-dressed man in the room."

"What do you call 2 White Girls + A Starbucks? Basic Math"

"Wife to Husband: I'll have you know I've got the face of a teenager! Husband to Wife: Then you should give it back you're wearing it out."

"When would a discount be a bad thing? Have 3 abortions and get the fourth free."

"one time my dad walked in on me smoking an E cig and made me eat a whole pack of batteries"

"Dear Santa, Please send gift cards. Your taste has gotten significantly worse in recent years."

"Why can't white Tumb1r girls divide or multiply by two? Because they can't even"

"4 y.o: I used the potty. Can I have a treat? Me: No. You always go in the potty 4: I can stop Me: Apparently I negotiate with terrorists"

"Man walks into bar. Says ""Ouch!"""