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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a Chinese rapist? Peking Dick"

"I remember the Christmas my son got me my first DVD. It was a rental...6 days overdue. And we didn't even have a DVD player!"

"There are 2 types of people in this world Those with the ability to extrapolate information from incomplete data"

"Phones - they bring you closer to the people that... ... also have phones."

"Why did the Death Star hire a lot of football players from Thailand? Because they needed more Thai Interceptors!"

"It cost me $14,000 and took 3 years, but I finally pulled off legally changing my friend's baby's name without him knowing. I LOVE PRANKS!!!"

"Turn your trip to the grocery store into a ninja challenge by shopping strictly out of other people's carts when they're not looking."

"Having a relationship is like taking your SAT. There's a lot of cheating, you never finish at the same time, and, in the end, you end up trying again in a few months."

"American Public Schools."

"Every religion has violent people... ... The Christians have The Westboro Baptist Church, the Muslims have the jihadists, and the Jews have the IRS"