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Joke of the Day

"You know that schizophrenic hobo that has nonsensical conversations with himself? That's Twitter in real life."

"Making a Good Analogy is as Hard as... As hard as... As hard as..."

"[blind date] Her: I'm a Capricorn, which probably tells you way too much about m.. Me: *covers ears with bread rolls*"

"My therapist told me to I need to learn to love myself... That would be settling, though- I can do better than that piece of crap!"

"Anyway, the moral of the Chilean story is we now put a limit on the hider in the game of hide n' seek"

"Why is hip hop popular among urban youth? because it's the only time a black man can tell a crowd of white people to put their hands in the air."

"What do gay horses eat? Heeeeeyyyyyyy"

"how much does a polar bear weigh? enough to break the ice what's up girl my name is bill"

"It was a blessing that grandpa past away peacfully in his sleep, but tragic for the passengers in his car."

"Chuck Norris was at an interview ... And he ended up giving the guy head but didn't give him the job."