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Joke of the Day

"My friend has a PhD in sexual deviancy She can talk about autoerotic asphyxiation until she's blue in the face!"

"Why did Obama take all the pencils and pens when he left? Cuz he knew Trump would bring his own Pence"

"The inventor of predictive text has died. His funfair will be hello on Sundial."

"What's better than winning a gold medal in the quadriplegic (crippled) Olympics? Walking."

"I learned a lot of new stuff from my travel to North Korea... [deleted]"

"autism awareness day A day for people with autism to be aware they have autism"

"Why'd the band teacher go to jai? Because he fingered A-minor"

"Who the hell buys furniture online? Why would you buy a chair or couch you can't even sit in? What if it has burlap cushions stuffed w/hay?"

"Dear future self, No, you weren't robbed. You left your house like this. Sincerely, You, you dumb slob."

"What was the name of King Arthur's fattest knight? Sir Cumference. (He ate too much pi)"