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Joke of the Day

"My friend has a PhD in sexual deviancy She can talk about autoerotic asphyxiation until she's blue in the face!"

"My grandma is going to vote for Hillary... She's been dead since 82."

"Kid 1: Hurt my elbow School Nurse: Here's an ice pack K2: *fever* SN: Ice pack K3: *diarrhea* SN: Ice pack K4: *decapitated* SN: Ice pack"

"I just discovered my new room mate is secretly a hard core racist and i wonder if should report him to the police. The dude takes part in illegal high speed car races at midnight"

"How can you tell a dog from an elephant? The elephant remembers."

"Joke from WWII: The USSR's three greatest generals. What're the names of the USSR's three greatest generals? December, January, and February!"

"What did one keyboard say to the other keyboard? Sorry you're not my type."

"To all you single ladies out there, as winter slowly approaches I am offering you a good high quality man blanket for this winter. Claim me now while supplies last. . ."

"What do you call a German thief? A Hamburglar."

"The asshole in front of me is texting and driving right as I'm tweeting this."