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Joke of the Day

"Kid 1: Hurt my elbow School Nurse: Here's an ice pack K2: *fever* SN: Ice pack K3: *diarrhea* SN: Ice pack K4: *decapitated* SN: Ice pack"

"A Drinking Problem! Math Teacher: ""If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"" Student: ""A drinking problem."""

"I hate my new Haircut!! ... But it'll grow on me =D Do you get it?"

"What do you call a witch who drives really badly? A road hag."

"why did the chicken cross the road it didn't."

"If Microsoft built cars you would need to restart your car then it would perform illegal operations and crash."

"[roadtrip] ME: I need a bathroom break FRIEND: no stops for 2 hours, use that Gatorade bottle ME: um...ok...now how am I supposed to wipe?"

"Counterspace..... is that like antimatter?"

"My cat ate her breakfast then vomited it all up. I'm a little worried about her health but she does look awesome in a bikini."

"Burger King employee: what size [drink] would you like? Me (thinking she said 'side'): fries. BK: What? Me: *more forcefully* fries."