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Joke of the Day
"The asshole in front of me is texting and driving right as I'm tweeting this."
Next Joke
"How does the recipe for German chocolate cake begin? First, invade ze kitchen..."
"Leonard Cohen is jamming in heaven with Prince now. Really awkwardly. It's not going well. Their musical styles aren't compatible"
"The so called genius at the Apple Store mentioned he has a girlfriend; thus, his geek credibility is compromised & I don't trust his advice."
"In the spirit of halloween.... why did the witch divorce her husband ? Because he had a hollow weiner"
"What's the difference between the Holocaust and the Boston Marathon Bombing? The Boston Marathon Bombing ended a race."
"What was the pornstar doing in school? Analogy"
"How did the blonde burn her nose? Bobbing for french fries."
"A nurse puts her hand in her pocket, finds a rectal thermometer and exclaims.... ""Some arsehole's got my pen!"""
"So I'm opening a seafood restaurant... ...and my signature dish will be eel in a light Japanese batter. It will be called ""O Tempura! O Morays!"""