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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a boxing match between two aardvarks? A snout bout!"

"911: What's you're emergency? ME: You mean ""your""? 911: OK. So..? ME: Someone's murdering me 911: You mean ""murdered"" ME:.. 911: [dial tone]"

"I don't think people understand the potential ramifications when they say to me ""just be yourself""."

"I'd like to share a joke with you that my 2yo nephew told me. 2yo: Knock knock. Me: Who's there? 2yo: I don't know. *leaves"

"I complained to my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said ""Don't be ridiculous! Everyone hasn't met you yet"""

"Have you heard about the Butchers 420 Dodgeball Classic? It's a high steaks game."

"Why are people so surprised that Joe Biden acts like such a poonhound? It's in his job description. After all, he *is* the Vice President."

"What's worse than ten babies in one trash can? One baby in ten trash cans."

"It's not difficult to tell crocodiles and alligators apart. One will see you in a while whereas the other will see you later."

"""This is NPR."" Yeah, we know. You just spent the past 4 minutes whispering the news over a jazz saxophone solo."