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Joke of the Day

"I'd like to share a joke with you that my 2yo nephew told me. 2yo: Knock knock. Me: Who's there? 2yo: I don't know. *leaves"

"This one time, I went to prison, but I got out without a scratch- I beat off all the other prisoners"

"I was so sorry to hear you buried your mother last week. Well we had to you know she was dead."

"What was John Locke's favorite beer? Natty Rights"

"What did the Seattle-based baker say to her apprentice? Someday you will bake like I bake."

"What does a grumpy sheep say at Christmas? ...Baaaaaahumbug"

"I'd make a wind pun But it blows.."

"Someone outside the grocery store asked me if I had a few seconds to save the environment. I feel like it would take longer than that..."

"Anyone else notice Independence Day is July 4th? Maybe we can work it into our 4th of July celebrations."

"What is a pedophile's favourite pair of shoes? White vans."