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Joke of the Day

"What beverage should you give someone who is publicly intoxicated? penal tea edit: to someone"

"My wife says I'm a clueless idiot. I didn't even know I had a wife."

"I showed up to my girlfriend's house. She said, ""Why, don't you look nice!?"" I said, ""Thanks."" ""It wasn't a compliment."" she added."

"What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? Every morning you will rise and shine."

"What's brown and sticky? A twig."

"All human females should be exterminated at menopause to reduce bitchiness? amiright?"

"Why do Seagulls live by the Sea? If they didn't, they'd be Bagulls!"

"How does a Scotsman find a sheep in tall grass? Very Satisfying"

"Your ex is posting passive-aggressive spiritual memes again"

"What is the ultimate definition of trust? Two cannibals going down on each other"