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Joke of the Day

"I started a band called ""999 Megabytes"" I still haven't gotten a gig."

"What do you call a Greek virgins anus? A loophole Credit to Doug Benson"

"People with guns, asking for your money... ...You've got to hand it to them."

"I'm a lot like a midget orgy I've got a lot of short comings."

"I got rear-ended in traffic the other day Thank God i wasn't in my car."

"What do an uncircumcised penis and the kkk have in common? They're both pricks in oversized hoods."

"What would Bill Nye be called if he spoke to ghosts? Bill Nye the Seance guy."

"I was undressing a guy with my eyes, but my eyelid got caught on a zipper"

"""I'm $50 away from getting free shipping which is only $5 and what I want is $12 so I need to spend $38 more to save money."" -my brain"

"I'm not ugly. I could marry anyone I pleased! But that's the problem - you don't please anyone."