170706

Joke of the Day

"Germany Q1: What would Germany be called had they not surrendered at the end of WW2 ? A1: Gerfew Q2: What would Germany be called if the issue in Q1 happened before the holocaust? A2: Jewmany"

"I'm going to attempt to dehydrate myself for the depravity contest. I hope I win thirst prize."

"The waiter came up to our table. He said, ""Can I take your order?"" I said, ""Sure."" He said, ""Thanks, I'm just really hungry."""

"I just burned 2000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven when I take a nap."

"Whats the difference between pizza and your opinion? I only asked for pizza."

"Overheard at Starbucks: Man: Would you like to try a pumpkin spice latte? Woman: No. Since Trump came on the scene I am boycotting everything orange."

"Seasick jokes What do armed forces at sea feel when depressed? The Navy blues What part of the Mac's desktop would seafarers miss when at sea for a loooong time? The Dock"

"I tried being a barber for a while but I just couldn't cut it. Bonus joke: Had to buy a stepladder the other day, I never knew my real ladder."

"I was just thinking about my ex girlfriend and how great her breasts were. It was a real trip down mammary lane."

"That one. ""that one."" says a booy. ""what do you mean?"" says another boy. ""oh, i was just answering your question."" ""what question?"" ""i already told you."""