193904

Joke of the Day

"I'm going to attempt to dehydrate myself for the depravity contest. I hope I win thirst prize."

"You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it date an emotionally available, age-appropriate, nice, single guy with a good job."

"My ex had a really weird fetish... She would dress as herself and act like a fucking bitch all the time."

"What do you call getting a movie about Norse gods from the Internet? DownlOdin. What do you call getting a movie about Norse gods from the Internet illegally? Thorrenting."

"Cucumbers are 95% water, Jesus can walk on water... I can walk on cucumbers so I am 95% Jesus."

"Did this dude really just say, ""Why don't you make like a tree and leaf"" to me? Fuck you. Why don't you make like a toilet and eat shit?"

"Have you heard about the Roman cannibalism trial? They asked the defendant if he was sorry for his crimes. He said no, he was gladiator."

"What's Black White And Red All Over? A Police Shootout"

"A woman walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a double entendre So the bartender gave it to her."

"What do you call a potato that's reluctant to try new things? A Hesi-tater"