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Joke of the Day

"*hears a loud noise outside of bedroom door at night* *wife reaches over* ""Honey- WHERE ARE YOU?"" *already locked myself in the bathroom*"

Next Joke
 
"NSFW: Why do women wear panties with flowers on them? In the loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there."
"A monk killed a man before going into fasting... It was a premeditated homocide"
"People are making end of the world jokes. Like there is no tomorrow."
"Interview Joke Interviewer: Why should we hire you Interviewee: Coz you are hiring :)"
"What word starts with F, ends with UCK, and people look for it when things get too hot... A Fuck. The word is ""fuck""... honestly, I lead you right to it"
"Snowstorm They call me the snowstorm, I'll give you 6-8 inches and make it difficult to get around the next day."
"[1st Day after wildebeests take over] I'm safe in my house [Day 7] Thought I heard clattering [Day 21] THEY CAN OPEN DOORS WITH THEIR HOOVES"
"The president of a popular mail-order business just died. The funeral will be held in 3 - 5 business days."
"do you have a girlfriend dude? Friend: yeah dude! Me: where is she from? Friend: from a different nation. Me: oh really? Which country? Friend: from imagiNATION."