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Joke of the Day

"Relax lady, I don't want your husband. I just want the sandwich he's eating."

"I've perfected an AI as a substitute to a girlfriend. Every time I try to turn it on I get the silent treatment and there are no output to tell me what's wrong."

"I don't think I could ever fall in love with a midget... I don't think I could ever fall in love with a midget. But I guess it's better to fall in love with a small person, than not a tall."

"How to you read a book? Just reddit."

"I witnessed a murder today... Though it may have just been a flock of jackdaws, I'm not a biologist."

"I've been hit by a car before, you don't want to go down that road."

"Muhammad Ali's epitaph was revealed this morning. Ali ByeBye."

"I thought I was wrong once.... but I was mistaken."

"What did the ZERO say to the EIGHT? 0 - Nice belt. 8 - thank you :)"

"I'm special. My school told me so."