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Joke of the Day

"I've perfected an AI as a substitute to a girlfriend. Every time I try to turn it on I get the silent treatment and there are no output to tell me what's wrong."

"Dogs really like me... I think it's because I'm an asshole"

"""You know what this sexist comment needs? Acoustic guitar."" -country music"

"I don't hate you. Hate is such a strong word. I just want to tickle your brain with this ice pick."

"A blind guy walks into a bar ***thud***"

"M R Ducks Person 1: M R Ducks. Person 2: M R Not. Person 1: O S A R. C M Wangs? Person 2: L I B. M R Ducks! My grandmother told me this when I was 5ish. Don't know why it cracks me up."

"""This surgical knife isn't sharp,"" ...Dr. Swiftie said bluntly."

"You know which presidential candidate in 2020 will have the hardest time? Tom Cotton. Having to tell black people to ""Pick Cotton!"" in 2020."

"Why are dogs always thirsty? Because water fountains were designed for humans! HEYOOOOOOO"

"My mailman got gender reassignment surgery. Now he's a post man"