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Joke of the Day

"How to you read a book? Just reddit."

"I didn't get my period this month or any month prior to that. If I'm pregnant my parents will flip. Also science, science will also flip."

"Getting a job right out of college... ENTRY LEVEL JOB OPENING: Hiring recent college grads. REQUIREMENTS: 5 years of experience, 6 Olympic gold medals, and super powers."

"What Does Every Pirate Hate? A small chest with no booty."

"After a long day at work, I like to spend time at home with my liquor cabinet oh and my wife I guess and that thing that poops."

"What does a code-switching trilingual Russian say when he wants to increase his bovine supply? Mas cow."

"Why are oceans so salty? Because the Earth is always tilted."

"Chuck Norris There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris. It was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives."

"Studies show that people who start a sentence with ""studies show..."" have no clue what they're talking about"

"Why do cows need four legs to walk? Because they lactose. Moo"