170483

Joke of the Day

"don't you just hate it when a zombie breaks into your home and starts doing their ironing right in front of the TV"

"How do you spell Canada? C, eh, N, eh, D, eh"

"applebees is a word that starts off pretty tame but takes a dangerous twist"

"Never buy the first round cause that's when people care what they're drinking!"

"My girlfriend left me after I broke her wheelchair..... Oh,, I think she'll come crawling back soon.."

"Dropping my kids off at Walmart with a dollar each to entertain themselves for a few hours."

"Old Jewish Proverb: It's better to have Russians cut-off the gas than ... ... have Germans pump it."

"Ever get out of the shower and not remember getting a towel ready but its there anyway? You're welcome."

"Wife: Your life insurance premium paid up? Me: Yeah. Wife: Good. Me: Why? Wife: No reason. Me: ... Wife: ... Me: ... Wife: Here, taste this."

"Slightly funny gay joke What doesn't work? A gay dude allergic to nuts"