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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend left me after I broke her wheelchair..... Oh,, I think she'll come crawling back soon.."

"Scientists have spliced the DNA of a human with a sea cow. Oh, the humanatee."

"Millions are killed each year because they go potty without checking behind the shower curtain first. Be smart. Peep before you poop."

"How many evolutionists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one but it takes eight million years."

"What do you get when you cross Tesla and Thomas Edison? A Kick-ass band"

"Whenever I fondle breasts, they fall off. It's true, I fell tit with my own hand."

"What do Africans eat for lunch? Ebola soup"

"Dudes don't like it when you ask if their salmon-colored pants are wild or farm-raised"

"What did the nosey pepper do? It got jalepeno business!"

"[doctor hands wife urn] Ma'am, I'm afraid your husband didn't make it. ""Nooo!"" she cries. Oh, he's fine. But he didn't make this lovely urn."