142025

Joke of the Day

"Wife: Your life insurance premium paid up? Me: Yeah. Wife: Good. Me: Why? Wife: No reason. Me: ... Wife: ... Me: ... Wife: Here, taste this."

"My landlord wanted to come talk to me about the high heating bill I told him, ""My door is always open""."

"My friend once told me Never start a joke you can't finish That's why I haven't committed suicide yet"

"Someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how i feel about that."

"19 showed us what he has learned at college when he asked ""can we drink screwdrivers while we are opening presents?"" *making screwdrivers*"

"How big was the ant when it knocked over the table? giANT!!"

"Why is the ocean blue? Because all the fish in there goes ""bloo bloo bloo"""

"A man telephoned an airline office in New York and asked ""How long does it take to fly to Boston?"" The clerk said ""Just a minute..."" ""Thank you"" the man said and hung up."

"My daughter asked me how much longer until she can be a grown up and I said, ""no."""

"So Trump wants to ban Muslims. But if prohibition has taught me anything it's that people will just make Muslims in their bathtubs."